Hello Silly Pea,
It's been barely 6 hours and I'm missing you terribly already. I tried to take a nap, but had nightmares instead. Went for a run to force myself to breathe, but it felt pointless anyway, so I just started walking two thirds of the way in. Quite pathetic, really, to barely jog 1.6km and walk the remaining 800 metres.
I listened to you, y'know, and went through the motions of eating. It made me nauseous. Then there're the random moments of panic when I fear for the worst, that you'll decide that it really is better to just leave, and I'll find that you're no longer connected to me on Facebook.
Maybe this is penance. Poetic, huh? Absolution isn't coming from this though. Or is this purgatory? Whatever it is, I can only imagine that it's far worse for you, and I'm sorry. I wish I could tuck you in, and cuddle you, just to let you rest a little more properly.
I tried to think through why, but there really isn't a good reason for why I fucked this up so badly. I really wanted to say that I will do better, last night, when we were in Safra, but I was so fearful that I'd just sound like Zuckerberg. No, I didn't want that, which is why I wanted to tell you about the trip after it's been done instead. We're clutching at straws here to let this thing survive; I have no idea how you found it in you to give me this chance, but I will make good use of it.
Silly Tree
